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Kylie Bates knows what it feels like to be isolated.

As the wife of a serving police officer and mother of four young children living in rural New Zealand, Kylie is highly aware of the need that police families have for a safe space in which to comfort each other, ask questions and share knowledge.

“Being the spouse of a police officer can be really difficult. You have your non-police friends, but you can’t expect them to fully understand what policing is all about,”
Kylie says.

“Recently there’s been a lot of anger directed at police and I knew of others in my situation who were feeling socially isolated.

“No one is discussing the good stories about our police partners – the times they go above and beyond to help people.

“Some people seem really focused on being anti-police at the moment, and any online attempts to provide good stories are met with refusal to listen and harsh criticism.”

With two rural postings for her husband in quick succession, Kylie recently began searching online for a support group, but found only American groups.

“I wanted a New Zealand group you could belong to irrespective of where you lived or the time of day you wanted to make contact, so a few weeks ago I set up one myself.”

Police Families of New Zealand is a private group and its arrival couldn’t be more timely given the impact of Constable Matthew Hunt’s death on police families.

It can be hard enough getting used to police life at the best of times, Kylie says, and she has been careful to shield her children from the news of the incident.

Kylie says the private page is perfect for those trying to process the shooting and comfort each other at a time of heightened anti-police sentiment around the world.

“It’s been disappointing and difficult because of some of the one-dimensional reactions in New Zealand to what is happening in the United States.
People have said to me, ‘We don’t want to hear your “good cop” stories’. But our cops are good. I want people to know that my husband and his workmates have come home to get blankets to help people in need and bought petrol and food to help them out.

“New Zealand Police has made huge efforts to improve its culture and connections with the community.

“It’s a very different style of policing here to what people are rightly complaining about in America. It’s also tough. In small towns there’s limited back-up and police do have to be very careful.”

These are the sorts of issue – the fears and frustrations – that Kylie hopes can be discussed openly and frankly on the new Facebook page by people with shared experiences.

It’s been difficult to get the word out, so she is welcoming the chance to alert families to the new page through Police News.