All talk and no trousers?

I took part in the shortest Police survey in the history of Police surveys. Pants. It was one of those surprise finds our Intranet. Our commissioner asked if it was time to review our Police pants, trousers, slacks, or whatever your parents taught you to call them. I voted “Yes”. Then I thought, is this serious? In this cash-strapped world is this a priority right now, or just a “feel good” plot with our pay negotiations starting and our commissioner wants to be the good guy. I love a good conspiracy theory.

From the horse's mouth?

What’s with Canterbury management denying environmentally friendly transport? I am of course writing about the horse used to get to work in Christchurch. Epic. It’s an example of how far some will go to make a point, and it’s a point we can all relate to. Anti-horse management spoke of health and safety and so on, but no-one mentioned the clean-up required from such animals. At least in that case you know what caused the mess. What excuses do they have in Molesworth St where there’s no horse in sight?

We're not chopped liver

Talking about messes, our file management centre (FMC) staff who were made redundant got told by team leaders who only found out online. Apparently, the District Commanders knew the day before or were forewarned. Local HR had no idea, local Police Association reps never knew – PNHQ Service Centre just swung the axe out of the blue, and obviously without a care. Our bosses (and the Police Minister) just blah, blah, blah about how valued and respected we are and quite obviously that is not the case. Some of those decision makers need to spend a day or two tied to the back end of a horse… then they might understand how we (sworn and non-sworn) feel sometimes.

It's all in the ‘fine’ print

Seems recruiting has hit the doldrums. Our recruit wings are getting smaller and smaller. The big “hoo-ha” about wings of 100 has quietly moved to the back of the room and is minding its own business. We either can’t find the right people or our work conditions and pay are rubbish compared with what else is out there – both here and overseas. I suppose the smoke and mirrors brigade will need to figure out another way to convince everyone that it’s all “fine”, and we know what that means.

Pay hardly the mother lode

I was told the other day being at home raising a child is financially better than being a cop trying to do the same thing. Daycare, transport and family management, especially by a single parent, is demanding and relentless. We have amazing parents wanting to come back after parental leave, but is it worth it? Our pay doesn’t keep up with inflation. In fact, it seems our pay has just given up. So I’m not surprised some just don’t come back.

Playing a zero-sum game

I get stuck into our managers quite often, and some really do need a good serve. But I know a great many who work their guts out and think bugger the workload. And that workload and risk they carry is rewarded with, um, nothing. Police’s initial pay offer actually equates to a pay cut for our inspectors and above when factoring in inflation. I suppose it’s a way to thin out the commissioned officer herd, because who in their right mind would go for one of those jobs, get driven into the ground with insane demand, and get zip for their troubles?